A New Set of Feelings
by sparklesofrain
Summary: Ryan's secret is revealed. When he thinks that all hope is lost, will someone be there to save him? Eventual TRYAN. Slash, i guess. R&R.
1. Chapter 1

So, this is my first fanfiction, but I love writing other types of fiction.

This will eventually be a Tryan... I think. I'm not really sure where it's going yet.

**Disclaimer: I don't own High School Musical or any of its characters.**

R&R people! (PS: be critical)

It's a horrible feeling. It makes you want to run as far as you can, and not stop. You just don't want to stop moving until you're as far away from everyone that you know as you can possible get. He felt the feeling creeping up on him as he walked down the hall. It was one of those moments in which you can predict exactly what will happen in the next minute, and you just know that you'll be right. As he opened his locker, the feeling started to slink up his throat, and make its way, through a strange path, into the back of his mind. A note fell onto his feet, and automatically, he reached down to pick it up. The hand-writing that he was staring at was almost as bad as a five-year-old's. Squinting to make out what it said, a tear ran down his cheek. He knew this was going to happen eventually.

Everyday there was a note, and everyday he would read the offensive words that taunted him from their position on the crumpled notebook paper. The first note was simple enough, yet a sickening sight for the teenager. It read, 'I know your secret'. His heart started beating rapidly, and looking around him frantically, he couldn't see anyone who could possibly have put this note into his locker. Shoving the note into his pocket, he quickly searched for the one thing that could have given away his clandestine. As he suspected, his journal was missing. Someone had broken into his locker, and stolen the book which contained his most personal thoughts.

For weeks after the first incident, he found a note in his locker every day. They got increasingly worse as time went on. Each note revealed a bit more detail into the specific secret which was being discussed, and with each note, the victimized boy lost his hope for keeping his secret an actual secret. This final note, the one which invoked the feeling, stated 'I am going to tell everyone today, during lunch.' Once again shoving the note in his pocket, he made a run for the front door of the school. He ran outside, but slowed down when he reached his car. What was he doing? Whether he ran away or not, everybody was still going to find out during lunch. Gaining his composure once again, he walked back into school, and made his way to his first period class.

To his dismay, the hours before lunch flew by extremely quickly. As he walked into the cafeteria, he saw many students looking down onto the seats that they were about to sit in. On every chair, was a flier. And on every flier "Ryan Evans is gay" was written. At this sight, Ryan had the horrible feeling again. The feeling was a mixture of pure terror, confusion, sadness, and about every other gut wrenching thing that a person could feel. So once again, he ran.


	2. Chapter 2

Heyy again! Thanks to my two reviewers. I am going to try and update this daily, but if i can't, i promise that there will not be a long wait between chapters. So, yeah, enjoy chapter two!

**Disclaimer: I don't own HSM. **

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This time, his feet and brain were in sync with oneanother. They both told Ryan that he should run as far away as he possibly could, so that he wouldn't have to face his classmates. When he reahed the front steps of the school, he collapsed. Tears flowed from his eyes, and as hard as he tried to stop them, he couldn't. They just kept racing from his eyes. He grasped onto one of the steps as he lay there. He needed something, anything, to grasp onto, and sadly, he had nothing left to grasp on to besides a step. His hope was gone, his dignity was gone, even his _private thoughts_ were gone from his locker. Ryan Evans had nothing but a step. 

"Hey," someone coughed. "Hey, Ryan." Ryan wiped his eyes and slowly turned around.

"What do you want?" he asked, his voice barely audible.

"I-I just-" the other boy stuttered. "I just wanted to- to see if you were okay."

"Does it look like I'm okay, Troy?" Ryan pulled himself up off of the step, and sat down, keeping his head high, no one was going to see Ryan in a state or turmoil, no one. Especially not Troy.

"I saw you run outside, and I just- I thought that you could use a friend," said Troy, ignoring Ryan's question.

"Thanks," Ryan sat still. _Troy is probably just here to make fun of me, _he thought. For, why would the star athelete of East High want to support him, Ryan Evans? Troy sat down on Ryan's step, and cleared his throat.

"Is it true?" Ryan just stared at him. Why was Troy doing this? Should Ryan trust him? Deciding that nothing could possibly make the situation worse than it already was, he answered Troy.

"You know," he began. "I'm not even sure." Ryan kept looking ahead.

"What do you mean?"

"I mean," Ryan continued. "I just _don't_ know."

"How could you not know? It's kind of a simple concept, isn't it?" This set off something in Ryan. How could Troy be so ignorant? He claimed that he was here to help him, but he was just arguing with him.

"What would you know about this _concept_ Troy?" Ryan spat. "How would you really know if it were all that simple? Don't make such serious statements about things that you couldn't even begin to comprehend. Live a day as someone like me, and then talk." Ryan walked away, leaving Troy with his head burried in his hands, wondering why on Earth he had come outside to talk to Ryan.

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**Note from the author: If I get 5 or more reviews, I will update later on today. Any less and you have to wait until tomorrow **


	3. Chapter 3

**Hello people! Since I am amazing (and incredibly sorry for taking so long to update :x), I have managed to shake up Troy's character a bit, and hopefully make this story a bit less predictable. :) You may not see that in this chapter, but this is kind of the set up. I may update later. Especially if I get a lot of reviews! **

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He should not have felt guilty. So what if Ryan couldn't handle a serious conversation? Why should he feel guilty for Ryan's shortcomings? He sighed. Of course he should feel guilty. This was all his fault, well, partially. 

It was a normal day, when it happened. There was nothing special about it. Everyone he knew was functioning, no one was hurt, no strange men could be seen for miles around, but for Troy, it was a day that he would never forget.

Basketball practice had just come to an end, at around 9PM, which was later than normal, but the team had a championship game coming up, and what was the time of night to them if it meant victory, and Troy was leaving the quiet school. Chad ran from the empty building to catch up with his best friend. Troy, oblivious to his follower, got into his car. He saw a figure pass by his windowshield, and followed the mystery-person with his eyes. The person ran past again, and Troy could see them open a car door. They seemed to be searching for something, and upon finding it, the person headed back towards the school again. Troy leaned forward, trying to see who could possibly be going into the school at such a late hour, and accidentily pressed his elbow against the horn. The sound startled said mystery-walker, and they tripped.

Troy raced from his car, so that he could appologise his horn's victim, and upon reaching them, he lent his hand.

"Thanks," the fallen boy mumbled, as he pulled himself up from the ground with the help of Troy's hand.

"No problem," Troy responded. "I'm just sorry that my horn startled you. I didn't mean to make it go off."

The boy laughed. "It's no problem, Troy."

"Seriously, Ryan?" Troy began. "You know my name?"

"Well duh," Ryan laughed. "How could I not, Mr. Golden-Boy?"

"I don't know, I just didn't think that you did. We've never really talked before."

"No, we really haven't." The two stood awkwardly, neither one knowing what to do. The conversation was coming to an end, but strangely, they didn't want that to happen.

"So, why are you at the school so late?"

Ryan shuffled his feet. "I had something to put inside of my locker."

"Why couldn't you just bring it back tomorrow morning?" Troy's face was one of utter confusion.

"Well," Ryan began, uncomfortably. "It's kind of my, well, it's my journal. And, if I heave it at home, Sharpay is bound to read it while I'm sleeping."

Troy laughed at this. "Oh, okay, I get it."

"Well, I've gotta go get this in my locker, or my parents will start to worry."

"Oh," said a disappointed Troy. "Well, I guess I'll see you around." Troy turned to go to his car, but was stopped by a tap on the shoulder.

"Do you want to maybe hang out tomorrow, Troy?" Ryan asked. "I mean, we don't have to if you don't want to, I just thought that maybe it would be-"

"Yeah, that'd be nice." Troy smiled. "How about we meet here at 7?"

"Sounds good." Ryan went into the school and deposited his journal into his supposedly safe locker.

Troy got into his car, and sighed. He put his head into his hands. For some reason, Ryan was making him feel something strange, that he did not want to feel. It felt kind of like... butterflies.


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: Own HSM, I do not.

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Chad observed, as he always did. He stared in shock in the direction of what he had just seen and heard. Troy and Ryan, hanging out? How could that be? Chad, hidden in the shadows, made his way back into the school, and saw that Ryan was still at his locker. 

"Hey, Evans." Ryan jumped.

"Oh, hey Chad, you um, scared me."

"Whatcha doing?"

"Nothing really, just putting something away."

"Oh, well, whatcha got there?"

"Nothing, I better get going, so if you could just-"

"Hey Evans?" Chad interrupted.

"Yes?" Ryan was beginning to get annoyed.

"I don't think that you want to hang out with Troy tomorrow night."

"How did you know about tha-"

"That doesn't matter. Just believe me when I say that Troy is not someone that you want to hang out with. Catch my drift?"

"Yeah, I do, and I think that you need to get some deoderant to fix that."

"You did not mean that, Evans."

"Oh, but I did." To Chad's suprise, Ryan pushed him into the nearest locker. "Stay out of my buisness, _Danforth_." Ryan walked away, head high, no one like Chad Danforth was going to bring him off of his high horse. Little did he know, that in his rush of adrenaline against the lunk-head basketball man, he had forgotten to close his locker. Down the hall in the opposite direction, Chad Danforth ran away with his most prized possession, his journal.


	5. Chapter 5

**ZOMG! AN UPDATE!**

**Guys, I am so sorry that this took me so long. School being horrible to me, and giving me a lot of work. As is my job, so computer time is limited.**

**Hopefully this chapter will be great, and you'll all forgive me.**

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"Hey Troy," Chad spat from behind him. 

"Yeah?" Troy replied, still deep in thought about the events that had led to Ryan's humilliation.

"I think you might want to read this." Chad handed Troy an orange notebook, of which contained the most personal thoughts of one Ryan Evans. Chad turned, and went back into the school, leaving Troy with the thoughts of his inner devil, and his inner conscience. On one hand, he did not believe that reading Ryan's innermost thoughts would help the situation, but on the other hand, it would help him see into why Ryan was being so standoffish.

_'Dearest Journal,"_ read the page that Troy had randomly opened to._"I do not know what is going on in my life. I feel... I feel like I just don't fit in anywhere. Wherever I go, people stare. They look at me, and it's as if they know. They just know that I am struggling, they know that I am battling myself. They know it all. But then I realize that I am just being stupid. They couldn't know, for I haven't actually told anyone about my... situation. And like I've said before, I'm not even sure if I am. There is no need to reexplain everything. I have written about it so many times in here before, there is no need to restate the obdvious...,' _Troy stopped reading, he flipped back a few pages and began to read again.

_'I don't want to feel this way. I want to like someone like Gabby, or Taylor, or Kelsi. Especailly Kelsi. That girl deserves someone who loves her. She deserves to be treated like an angel, but no matter how many times I think that I am going to ask her out, I just can't do it. I feel as if I would be cheating on her if I did that. I would be cheating mentally, for I cannot truely love her in the way that she should be loved. Every kiss would be fake, every touch, every embrace. I just don't know what to do."_

Troy closed the journal. He remembered some of those words. He remembered them from when he and Ryan had hung out that night.

Three weeks before the final note had been deposited in Ryan's locker, Troy waited, at 6:59 PM, for his newly found friend to show up. He paced out of nervousness, which he hardly ever felt. He wondered why Ryan made him feel so nervous, for Ryan was just a friend of his, he wasn't anyone to be feared, so why should Troy feel as if his stomach was going to flip around inside of him? It was now 7:00 PM, and Troy knew that Ryan would be there very soon. This heightened Troy's nerves once again. He was going to be hanging out with Ryan, someone who he had never really talked to until the night before. What if they didn't get along? What if Ryan didn't find Troy to be interesting? What if Ryan didn't show up? What _if _Ryan didn't show up? That thought had not occured to Troy. Would Ryan stand him up? But, he couldn't really stand him up, for this wasn't a da-

"Hey Troy!" Troy turned around to face the boy who was currently causing him so much confusion.

"Hey there, Ryan!" He walked over to the blonde boy. "What do you wanna do tonight?"

"Do you like Chinese Food?"

"Who doesn't?"

"Good," Ryan stated. "I know this great little place on Green Street. We'll go there."

The two walked, making small talk, and reached the resturaunt. The outside looked small, but it was a rather large facility. The floors, walls, and furniture were different shades of red, and pictures of dragons were hung by every booth. Thye were seated, and handed menus.

Once their food had been ordered, the two continued in meaningless conversation. They talked about the Drama Club, basketball, Darbus, Zeke's baking, and anything that popped into their mind that would help them to avoid an awkward silence.

"So, how are you and Gabi doing?" Ryan inquired.

"We broke up about a month ago," Troy replied.

"Oh, I'm sorry."

"No, don't be. I broke it off. We were both getting tired of always having to be around one another. After 11 months, a relationship can get tiring."

"11 months? That's a long time," Ryan thought outloud. "I wish I could have a relationship like that."

"Then why don't you? Have you any girls out recently?"

"No," Ryan said awkwardly, biting his lip before continuing. "If I do date someone, I want to make sure that I can love them in the way that they deserve to be loved. I'm just not sure If I can do that right now." Troy smiled at Ryan's honesty. So this boy's heart wasn't as icy as his sisters, that was a good thing to know.

Troy's phone buzzed in his pocket, and seeing that it was Chad calling, he ignored the call.


End file.
